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Your Duck is Dead-- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or any...
Jul 13 2012 07:51 AM


When four deer hunters arrived at the deer camp for their annual hunt they found that all the lodging was taken except for two cabins, both equipped with two beds. Three of them, John, Bill and Fred had a lively discussion as who would bunk with Bob who was a habitual snorer. They finally decided that the only fair way was to take turns. Bill shared a cabin with Bob the first night and the next morning he appeared red-eyed from lack of sleep. He said that Bob snored so loud that getting to...
Jun 10 2012 03:31 PM


A man decided to take his wife out with him deer hunting. She had never been on any kind of a hunt before and he wanted her to succeed, so he left her hidden in the bush while he tried to find deer that he could drive toward her. All of the sudden he heard a shot where he had left his wife in the woods. Then he heard loud voices so he ran back to see what was happening. When he got there he saw his wife arguing with a man. Just as he got close enough to hear the conversation, the man sai...
May 20 2012 07:56 AM


A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth...
Mar 24 2012 05:08 PM


Please pass this on.... As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in e-mails, BUT this one is important. It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 25 million people. We don't want to lose any names on the list so just hit forward and send it on. Please keep it goin To show your support for President Obama and the job he is doing please go to the end of the list and add your name. 1) Michelle Obama
Feb 20 2012 07:53 AM


Is everyone doing the "Snow Dance"?
Jan 14 2012 10:11 AM


Snow, Snow, Snow, We Need Snow!
Jan 04 2012 09:45 AM


There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had...
Jan 02 2012 10:36 AM


Snow, Snow Snow
Dec 03 2011 09:22 AM
  • Bigfoot's Photo
    Come on SNOW!
    Jan 02 2012 10:10 AM


Leaves are changing in Vermont' Northeast Kingdom
Sep 16 2011 03:40 AM


Guestbook and Informational Links is now operational
Aug 19 2011 02:34 PM


Our Web Site is almost all back on-line
Jun 12 2011 09:35 AM
Debug Information (Toggle Debug Information)

IPSDebug Messages
makeSeoTitle (guest) called
Retreiving user agent information from the DB
Creating GUEST session: cffb0bd806ed23ab3f270e01b9a40cf1
makeSeoTitle (guest) called
Gateway file confirmed: html
Skin set not found, setting default. Using set #10
Setting current module to: profile and current section to: status

IPSMember Cache Actions
ADDED: Member ID: 1 with tables pfields_content,profile_portal,groups key (df28af09ab8ba146fbf4f722a6e192c4)

(38) Included Files

Loaded Caches
TOTAL: 0bytes

Loaded Classes In ipsRegistry::getClass()

FORM and GET Input
app = members
section = status
module = profile
k = 880ea6a14ea49e853634fbdc5015a024
request_method = get
last_visit = 1408517447
do = list

set_id = 10
set_name = VT Colors Skin1
set_key = 1325530107
set_parent_id = 0
set_parent_array = a:0:{}
set_child_array = a:0:{}
set_permissions = *
set_is_default = 1
set_author_name = Dale Sokoloski
set_author_url = http://www.islandpond.com
set_image_dir = master
set_emo_dir = default
set_css_inline = 1
set_css_groups = a:25:{s:5:"1.311";a:2:{s:9:"css_group";s:15:"calendar_select";s:12:"css_position";s:1:"1";}s:5:"1.346";a:2:{s:9:"css_gro...
set_added = 1325530107
set_updated = 1407163330
set_output_format = html
set_locked_uagent =
set_hide_from_list = 0
set_minify = 1
set_master_key = root
set_order = 2
set_by_skin_gen = 0
set_skin_gen_data = a:3:{s:3:"css";s:6794:"#calendar_table td.selected { background: #d3ffe6 !important; background-color: #d3ffe6 !import...
_userAgents =
_youCanUse = 1
_gatewayExclude =
_skincacheid = 10
_csscacheid = css_10
Next task = Yesterday, 01:22 PM
Time now = Today, 01:50 AM
Timestamp Now = 1408517448

MEMBER: last_visit: 1408517447 / Today, 01:50 AM

MEMBER: uagent_key: __NONE__

MEMBER: uagent_type:

MEMBER: uagent_version: 0

Loaded PHP Templates
skin_global, skin_profile, skin_ipchat
skin_global_10, skin_profile_10, skin_ipchat_10
core_public_global, members_public_profile

Queries Used

SELECT * FROM cache_store WHERE cs_key IN ( 'systemvars','login_methods','vnums','app_cache','navigation_tabs','module_cache','hooks','useragents','useragentgroups','skinsets','outputformats','skin_remap','group_cache','settings','lang_data','banfilters','stats','badwords','bbcode','mediatag','profilefields','rss_output_cache','rss_export','meta_tags','ipseo_acronyms','report_cache','report_plugins','ranks','reputation_levels','moderators','chatting' )

DELETE FROM sessions WHERE ip_address=''

SELECT * FROM skin_cache WHERE cache_set_id=10 AND cache_type IN ('css', 'replacements')

SELECT count(*) as cnt FROM member_status_updates s LEFT JOIN members m ON ( m.member_id=s.status_author_id ) LEFT JOIN profile_portal pp ON ( pp.pp_member_id=m.member_id ) WHERE (s.status_approved=1 OR s.status_member_id=0)

SELECT s.*,m.*,pp.* FROM member_status_updates s LEFT JOIN members m ON ( m.member_id=s.status_author_id ) LEFT JOIN profile_portal pp ON ( pp.pp_member_id=m.member_id ) WHERE (s.status_approved=1 OR s.status_member_id=0) ORDER BY s.status_date desc LIMIT 0,15

SELECT m.*, m.member_id as my_member_id,p.*,pp.*,g.*,ccb.cache_content FROM members m LEFT JOIN pfields_content p ON ( p.member_id=m.member_id ) LEFT JOIN profile_portal pp ON ( pp.pp_member_id=m.member_id ) LEFT JOIN groups g ON ( g.g_id=m.member_group_id ) LEFT JOIN content_cache_sigs ccb ON ( ccb.cache_content_id=m.member_id ) WHERE m.member_id IN (1)

SHUTDOWN: INSERT INTO sessions (`id`,`member_name`,`member_id`,`member_group`,`login_type`,`running_time`,`ip_address`,`browser`,`in_error`,`current_appcomponent`,`current_module`,`current_section`,`location_1_type`,`location_1_id`,`location_2_type`,`location_2_id`,`location_3_type`,`location_3_id`,`uagent_key`,`uagent_version`,`uagent_type`,`uagent_bypass`) VALUES('cffb0bd806ed23ab3f270e01b9a40cf1','',0,2,0,1408517447,'','CCBot/2.0 (http://commoncrawl.org/faq/)',0,'members','profile','status','',0,'',0,'',0,'__NONE__',0,'',0)